(no subject)

[morethananything]

 
John and Dean die when Sam is three. He remembers fire, and Dean's wiry arm pushing at him while his older brother had been pinned, yelling at him, telling him in a too-young voice to get out, Sammy, get out - go get help! But when Sam had got out, nobody else followed, and there was no help that could save his small family. The old apartment had erupted into flame and took five lives that night, his father and sibling included. Sam watched the hot tendrils of flame lick the windows and walls and stood frozen in fear.

He does recall black eyes, twisted little smiles, and a loud, bright boom of light as well. They talk to him a lot - doctors, people who try and help kids like him, people who try to coax a traumatized kid out of his shell. He doesn't talk much; mostly just watches and observes. They think he's suffering from delusions, because when he does talk, he tells them about big lights, smoke coming out of throats, and those ugly black-eyed stares. They don't take what he says to heart much. They mostly just feel bad for him. 

He goes into foster care, jumps between a few places - some nice, some not so nice - until he's five, and settles with the Duketts at age six. They're nice people, and they try to talk to Sam, but he doesn't really feel like he should be with them. He wants the Impala, wants his dad and brother; he doesn't need to remember everything to remember enough. It creates an aura of isolation he wraps himself in like a warm blanket. Mrs. Dukett wants to help, but she has four other foster kids and she doesn't have enough time to really burrow into Sam Winchester's head. It's okay; Sam's good, mostly.

It's Monday, and Sam is back from school. There's a bruise on his head because the older foster kid Sherlyn doesn't like him. Sam doesn't really comprehend that she came from a violent home and replicates it when she's angry. Dad had a temper, but it wasn't anything like Sherlyn's, so he stays outside and plays with action figures in their graciously large backyard. 

He pretends they're his family, and his family always survives the end of his stories.